Well, now, we’re all ’bout givin’ y’all some say-so in pickin’ your hog, but we gotta set some things straight too.

Now, listen here, we ain’t magicians. We can’t go passin’ up hog after hog like it’s a Sunday stroll in the park, ’cause you’re dead set on a hog that’s a certain size, sex, color, or if it has some fancy tusks. We gotta be real ’bout this – them hogs, they ain’t waitin’ ’round for a beauty pageant.

And them dogs we got, well, once they’re hot on a trail and bayin’ up a critter, it’s like tryin’ to put toothpaste back in the tube – it just ain’t happenin’. They’re full of that huntin’ spirit, and it takes a heap of effort to calm ’em down once they’re on the scent.

Now, I get it. Size matters, right? But we ain’t gonna let y’all go after them teeny tiny hogs that barely reach your knee. We reckon it’s only fair to give those little rascals a chance to grow up some before we go trackin’ ’em down.

So there ya have it, plain and simple. We’re gonna work with ya, but we can’t twist Mother Nature’s arm. Can’t have y’all chasin’ after hogs like you’re pickin’ out a dress for a dance. And if them dogs are on the chase, well, it’s like tryin’ to tell a river which way to flow – not gonna happen. Let’s keep things square and make this huntin’ adventure one to remember.